Doritos Jenga

I’ve been working on a revised taco salad, the salad that was on menus in the 1980’s. I really wanted the salad to say “It’s not 1980 anymore" unless you’re trapped in a time warp experience. If indeed the passage of time has become suspended for you, then this salad I’m working on may be too futuristic for your taste…..but don’t give up your leg warmers, big hair, puffy sleeves, and popped up collars.

Part & parcel of the taco salad development was the question of croutons, which for some reason became a stumbler for me. The other night I was semi-watching TV, you know, half dozing off with intermittent periods of paying attention to Letterman’s top 10 list. Then a Doritos commercial comes on, I think “Doritos crouton”, I then go to bed with this bright idea and wake up in the morning knowing I had a cerebral moment the night before but couldn’t remember what it was. This bugged the crap out of me for two days, and then, I’m watching the tube and a Doritos commercial comes on and Bam! I remember the idea. Immediately I email myself:

From: Me
Sent: Very late at night
To: Me
Subject: Experiment with Doritos, can you make a crouton?, go to store

this time!

Sent from my iPad

The next morning I go to the store and buy an obsessive amount of Doritos, “What ya doin with all those Doritos?” inquires the cashier, I find vagueness is always good in this situation because if I tell her about my “Crouton Epiphany” there will certainly be a cleanup on isle 5. I just know that after I leave that her and her co-workers would laugh to the point of tears while looking at the big empty space where the Doritos use to occupy the shelf….”The dude said he was going to make croutons! That is some funny shit! We should use that as code for crazy customer", "I gotta Doritos crouton price check on register 3….”

Urban Dictionary
opens the wrong end of the doritos
A slang term recently developed in Northern California, implies that one is foolish, ignorant, or possesses below-average intelligence.
Well, He certainly opens the wrong end of the Doritos...
OK, back on track. I make the croutons (more on this later), which were immediately devoured. I then move on to “Doritos Fries”, pictured below. These are incredibly light, crunchy, and fuming with the unmistakable aroma of Doritos. You can zoom in and look at the almost ChicharrĂ³n texture.

Now you know the exact science behind culinary development.