A Thanksgiving Story

Some stories from the trenches are worth telling. This happened to me at a former restaurants on the Country Club Plaza in Kansas City.

Thanksgiving Evening 1984

It's now 6:00 pm and we've fed over 1200 people, the restaurant is still packed with people waiting for the Plaza lights to be turned on. They're in the holiday mood and thrilled to be in the warmth of one of the highest acclaimed restaurants in the country, this is a special night. I'm standing on the line in the display kitchen with an exhausted crew, partaking in some complimentary post shift drinks. All of a sudden there's a loud scream as a lady darts out of the restroom with her pants halfway down around her knees, it's more of a waddle than a full-out run. She manages to pull her pants up as she rounds the charcuterie station, past the dessert case, and into the middle of the dining room. She now begins to stutter hysterically, T-T-T-T-T-T-T-TURKEY!, her hands are gesturing wildly towards the restroom and she continues to scream TURKEY! TURKEY! TURKEY!. The entire dining room breaks into applause as if the curtain had just been lifted at a Broadway show. I'm thinking, our turkey was pretty damn good today, but not good enough to announce it to the whole dining room in the semi-buff, perhaps she is really drunk.

Now there's more screaming from the bar area.....THERE'S A LIVE TURKEY IN THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM!!!, with that I instinctively bolt off the line flanked by two blood thirsty cooks with french knives. We are now in hunter-chef mode. Right outside the display kitchen our hunt is halted by Doug, the GM,....."What the hell do you think you're doing!!??", Doug doesn't realize that after 8 hours of hacking turkeys from their roasted carcasses we've become very numb, crazed and vengeful towards the birds....."Dougy, it's F*$%ING thanksgiving and someone yelled LIVE TURKEY, we're on re-con". My partners in crime put down their knives because Doug was panicking; the mob scene at the bar-restroom area was escalating. We made our way to the women's restroom, went inside, and indeed there was a live turkey!! Someone had put it in one of the stalls and evidently climbed out from underneath and left it trapped inside. The bird was crazed (like us), banging around inside the stall, making screeching-gobbling noises, and crapping everywhere except in the toilet! Doug kicked the door open, my cooks lunged at the bird and held it down, I took off my apron and threw it over the birds head and tied it with the apron strings. The police were called but couldn't get there because the streets were jammed with a couple hundred thousand people. Plaza security was sent in to take custody of the bird. The crowd was cheering as the apron hooded bird was hauled off......I'm not sure if the applause was for the bird, or us and our SWAT-like tactics.

The women who first encountered the bird said she went in to use the restroom, entered the stall and took her appropriate place on the commode......and then it happened, the bird began to gobble and bang against the walls of the stall next to her, she could see it's feet and wings as she looked down under the partition!! She was in such a state of shock that she opened the door and ran out without thinking to pull her pants up....and then, like a bad dream, she was in the dining room without the proper attire.

The next day the story appeared on local television. This incident became a favorite after-work-drinking-war-story-conversation, the conspiracy theory runs deep. To this day I don't know how someone could have made it through the restaurant undetected with a live turkey, slipped into the restroom and disappeared.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Webster House

A great dining destination in Kansas City!

Jumbo Shrimp and Anson Mills Grits
Burger’s Country Ham, Red Eye Gravy, Sautéed Mushrooms, Roasted Red Peppers, and Scallions

"Bacon & Eggs"
House Cured Pork Belly, Sunny Side-Up Quail Egg, Sweet Potato, Poblano, Red Bell Pepper Hash & Smoked Tomato Aioli

Alton Brown's Turkey Derrick

You have to love any recipe that includes the following text.

WARNING: Failure to follow these instructions could result in fire or explosion which could cause property damage, personal injury or death.

Follow the link below for the full set of Alton's Turkey Tower!


Thanksgiving on a Bun

It really is ashamed that turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce got labeled as food you traditionally only prepare once a year. It's not just me, most people I talk to also crave this flavor combination all year but they feel like there's some sort of clandestine authority controlling the days where it's socially acceptable to prepare the feast......I mean Jeez! someone might frown upon you making this combo of goodness on any other day than Thanksgiving.

My solution to this paradigm isn't to do a full-blown Thanksgiving dinner. I just want all of those familiar flavors, so I made "Thanksgiving on a Bun".

It was absolutely everything I wanted. As I ate it a thought crossed my mind, why is it so satisfying to eat with your hands? especially something that always requires a full set of serving and eating utensils. Maybe this year for Thanksgiving dinner I will remove the silverware from the table.

Unhinge your jaw Pilgrim!

Grilled turkey burger, crispy stuffing, cranberry mayo, and gravy

Sriracha Sauce Refillable Key Chain!

As reported by Eater....."Sriracha2Go Is the Most Adorable Unlicensed Sriracha Experience Around"

If you don't want to leave Rooster Sauce at home when dining out then get one of these and never find yourself saying "I think this would be much better if it had a little Sriracha sauce on it!"

Pimento Cheese + What to do with the leftovers

A low country staple, pimento cheese spread. This has a nice kick with a smoky finish provided by smoked paprika......oh yeah, and then there's the ham! which is cooked down in a "Redeye Reduction" with a heavy dose of Kentucky bourbon. There are endless preparations you can make with leftovers like melting it on burgers, pimento cheese creamed corn, or what I have below!

Pimento Cheese with Bourbon Glazed Kentucky Ham
with homemade S+P cracker and celery

And now it gets really interesting, these are absolutely amazing! Roll up your sleeves....

Grilled Pimento Cheese Sandwich
with sourdough and Kentucky ham